For centuries, scientists asked:

"What happens when you combine the strength of a gorilla with the emotional intelligence of a clown?"

Nobody knew. Until now.

The answer: A man who will carry your luggage, make you laugh, disappear for a weekend, and somehow come back with a story nobody believes.

• He has traveled more than most migrating birds.

• He has collected airline miles like a divorced dad collects grill accessories.

• He possesses the rare ability to be both mysterious and deeply unserious.

• He is legally considered “too much personality for one passport.”

This specimen completed 62 flights in a single year. Researchers initially assumed migration patterns were involved. Further investigation revealed the Gorilla simply enjoys collecting boarding passes like other animals collect shiny objects.

The Gorilla Clown has an uncanny ability to walk into a casino, press a few buttons, and immediately become everyone else's least favorite person.